You never called me.
Then you called my boss and said,
"She won't return calls!"
Yeah, cover your ass.
Pretend that you tried. We're now
Opposites of friends.
Here's a friendly Corporate America tip: don't tell bold-faced lies to the superiors of people with whom you have to work. You garner yourself no favors with me by sending my boss an e-mail with the phrase "she's not returning my messages," especially after I've combed back through two weeks' worth of correspondence to confirm that you never contacted me.