Thursday, January 14, 2010

Mart of Darkness

Clothes shopping trials.
Hours spent in vain to fit
Awkward proportions.

My only options:
Have Three-quarter length sleeves or
Voluminous cloth.

Last night I bounced between countless outlets, malls, shops, over the course of about four hours trying to find a coat. One that would fit. And would be in my size. I did not believe at the outset that it would be the tribulation that was soon upon me. At the very end of the night, however, I finally happened upon one that I liked and also fit. Sometimes it sucks to be a skinny, long limbed, boy.

(Open Item: Why does the 38 have shorter sleeves than the 36?? It makes no sense.)

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

On airport sinks

Flail, flail, flail... give up
Move down. Flail, wave, splash. Wettish.
Soap and towels? HAH.

For months I went to the airport every week to pick Lisa up from New York, and during that time my struggle with the bathroom sinks went from "annoying" to "full on rage". Never once did the first (of, admittedly, like 30) sink I tried work. Once I finally found one whose motion controls functioned to some limited degree, I'd then have to go through the same ritual for soap. Then the sink dance again (a couple times really, since you only get 1 second of water per 20 seconds of flapping your hand around like an epileptic hand model) and then, finally, the long walk to the towel dispensers (also motion activated!) which, blessedly, are reasonably simple to get functioning.

But seriously, what possible advantage does this setup grant the airport? Expensive motion sensors on every faucet and soap dispenser in the whole airport and in return they get more people who probably don't bother washing their hands because it's a fucking hassle and that means even more sick people in a place already awash (ha!) with them. I want those metal timer push-button faucet dealies back dammit.

On Medical Woes

I just remembered I have both been writing complaint haikus lately AND am a member of a site that is a repository for complaint haikus. Fancy the coincidence! A chain from about a month ago...

So sick and in pain
All the time. At least I am
Healthy on paper.

Tests, cultures, blood work;
All negative, counts normal,
So why feel like death?

Bucket of meds, though,
Throw pills at it til it's fixed.
That should prob'ly work!