Friday, February 29, 2008

On girl-shoes

Have I bitched about
this before? It's possible:
my brain's like a sieve.

Oh, well: Women's Shoes...
I try you on in the store
and you're so comfy!

Then when worn to work
you make my tootsies cry out,
"Blisters: do not want!"

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Tech Support

Lexmark Tech Support
just stole three hours of my life
just to prove me right.

I had a network printer, that wouldn't print over the network. Worked fine on the USB port, but not the network port. You think that'd be easy to diagnose, right? So they spent three hours of my life (I had to be on the phone with them) doing stupid stuff like updating drivers, changing cables, and various other wastes. What did we determine in the end? I was right. Thank you, drive thru.

On the taskbar

Laughing, XP mocks.
As habitually I try
Drag-Dropping items

Maybe I've been using a tabbed browser too long, but I (and my pod-mates agree) would like the ability to move taskbar items around in windows. This seems like a simple enough thing, and I'm sure there's a crazy hack somewhere that lets me. But also I am lazy.

Ah, the beauty of documentation.... in 3 seperate places

Could we please all learn
Designs are only useful
When we can find them?

Mt Rushmore, here I come

Driving cross-country:
Fun for the first couple days
Then: South Dakota.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Coffee - Forcibly Black

big clumps of sugar,
cruelly blocking the pour-spout...
can't make coffee sweet.

It drives me nuts when huge sugar chunks keep the sugar from pouring out of those sugar jars they have and diners and starbucks and coffee stations. I have no conception of how sweet or bitter my drink is when i can't get a steady pour!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

On Dumb TV

Reality shows -
I hate you SO much! So why
can't I look away?

Stupid TV. Stupid reality shows. Stupid Lisas being drawn in and staring transfixed at the screen while drooling copiously. I blame this on Mad Mad World, an old Sci-fi reality show that was basically "put a bunch of Normals in with a bunch of Alternate Lifestyle people and see what happens." It got me marginally amenable to the idea of reality TV and now I occasionally find myself unable to say no. Guh.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

On Load Balancing

Six elevators
Serving only 14 floors.
Short waits would be nice.

The elevator algorithm in the building here at work is nothing even -slightly- approaching efficient. I won't even start on how often the "floor beeps" get confused, or how often I hear the elevator whizzing by when I've been waiting forever. With such a high elevator-to-floor ration, I should NOT be having to wait 5 minutes. Srsly.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

On Days of the Week

Why call it hump day?
The median of the week -
must in sound vulgar?

Just a grump, I guess;
unjustified linguistic
blackboard fingernails.

Something about calling Wednesday "hump day" just... rubs me wrong. Makes me go "Yick! WTF!?" Go figure. On the other hand, going to label this post and seeing "space sheep" in the list of labels: high-larious!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

On lawsuits

Screw litigations!
I'm tired of things ruining
Hobbit production ;_;

Monday, February 11, 2008

On Air Plane Food

Delta, you cockbites!
Bad enough not to serve meals,
but charging for snacks??

Remember when airlines used to provide meals on flights over 4 hours? Yeah, that was nice. Historically my Seattle flight always provided a nice little snack pack... tasty cheese spread, some biscotti, peanuts and a banana. Not worth calling a "meal" but certainly enough to last the flight. Imagine my surprise when I got on the plane this time and was informed that this was a "food for purchase" flight where you could buy "sandwiches for $8, salads for $9, or an assortment of snacks."
Maybe if I pour
Coffee onto my face I'll
Regain sensation

It's 19F outside, but the windchill makes it feel as though it's -482F.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

"Well" is not what you would call the boding of this code.

For the love of god,
don't check in your broken code,
thus screwing my team.

Bad move number one: checking in code that references a database table that doesn't exist. Bad move number two: adding a change that significant during product test. Bad move number 3: when I call to tell you about it saying "oh yeah, we've been trying to fix that... [captain subtext: I didn't think you'd notice that huge breaking issue]"

You are SO fired
from the Lisa Book of Trust.
Time to suck dick now.

Monday, February 4, 2008

Insomniac brain
Likes to play Show and Tell with
Painful memories


When it's 4am and I have to get up for work in three more hours, is that really the time to think about how in the second grade I made a little girl cry by throwing sand in her hair?

Polling Locations

Youth, go rock the vote!
Politics are young and fresh
At the nursing home.

I have my primary location. It's the Windy Hill Senior Center. On the one hand, it seems logical and pragmatic to engage retired people in a one-time Tuesday-morning civic duty. On the other hand, I wish people under the age of 40 had more opportunity/encouragement to take ownership of politics, and having a primary at a Senior Center seems to capture exactly what isn't quite right here.

(Click that link. Find your polling location. Vote.)