Thursday, June 19, 2008


Your Integrity
As a newsman is in doubt.
Always with the puns!

Seriously, I'm beginning to think that copy-editors, headline writers, and newsmen in general have a social disease that compels them to think that godawful news puns are clever, witty, or interesting. I wouldn't mind so much from, like, Fox News or something, but when otherwise respectable reporters sign off on a story about, say, peanut butter with "...and that's something that really sticks to the roof of Mr. Johnson's mouth" it makes me want to scream. They are completely contrived, bloody horrible, and an assault on the listening public.

And the worst thing is that it's like they can't help themselves! If someone is doing a story on basketball, there's GOING to be a pun about three pointers or double dribbling or some shit thrown in there. Every. Fucking. Time. Do they think I won't listen if they aren't "clever"? Do they honestly think their Laffy-Taffy-esque jokes are amusing to anybody? My theory is that they think we, the public, are retarded. I don't blame them... I've felt that way about every customer group I've ever had. Still, you'd think they'd stop if only to save themselves the utter, crushing, embarrasment.

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