Optimization:
In a taxi, the route that
Gets me there fastest.
Contrary driver
Instead seeks routes with most tolls.
No tip for you, sir.
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Monday, November 2, 2009
Monday, November 17, 2008
On commuting via automobile: A three haiku sequence
Crisp fall wind, brimming
with color. Windows rolled down,
I shift, delighted.
Shit! Downshift and brake:
corners cause soccer moms to
hyperventilate.
Fucking SUV's
won't roll from slight breeze. Find your
accelerator.
I drive up Peachtree-Dunwoody road every day to work now. It's a stunning drive past beautiful trees - red, yellow, and brown - expensive homes, and lots of McCain-Palin signs. There are very few stop lights and overall, it's as pleasant of a drive as you can get in this traffic jammed town. Inevitably, however, some asshole in an SUV [3] decides that 35MPH on a slightly hilly and curvy ATL road is TOO DAMN SCARY AH and drives with their ass at 10 under the whole 4 mile drive.
Protip for slushbox drivers: you can, in fact, take your foot of the throttle and not have to ride your brakes the whole way down a hill. If you're a real pro, look for the D3, 2 or L on your shift column.
[0] Though not so much now.
[1] I should have cataloged their number by date as the election season wore on. It would be an amusing trend, to be sure. [2]
[2] I also swear I've noticed more Obama bumper stickers post-election than pre-. I suppose this is "winner of the Super Bowl" syndrome with regard to jerseys.
[3] Or Old(fart)smobile.
with color. Windows rolled down,
I shift, delighted.
Shit! Downshift and brake:
corners cause soccer moms to
hyperventilate.
Fucking SUV's
won't roll from slight breeze. Find your
accelerator.
I drive up Peachtree-Dunwoody road every day to work now. It's a stunning drive past beautiful trees - red, yellow, and brown - expensive homes, and lots of McCain-Palin signs. There are very few stop lights and overall, it's as pleasant of a drive as you can get in this traffic jammed town. Inevitably, however, some asshole in an SUV [3] decides that 35MPH on a slightly hilly and curvy ATL road is TOO DAMN SCARY AH and drives with their ass at 10 under the whole 4 mile drive.
Protip for slushbox drivers: you can, in fact, take your foot of the throttle and not have to ride your brakes the whole way down a hill. If you're a real pro, look for the D3, 2 or L on your shift column.
[0] Though not so much now.
[1] I should have cataloged their number by date as the election season wore on. It would be an amusing trend, to be sure. [2]
[2] I also swear I've noticed more Obama bumper stickers post-election than pre-. I suppose this is "winner of the Super Bowl" syndrome with regard to jerseys.
[3] Or Old(fart)smobile.
Monday, March 31, 2008
On Gas (not flatulence)
Today's Headline Reads:
"Gas Breaks Record High (Again)."
This speaks for itself -_-
"Gas Breaks Record High (Again)."
This speaks for itself -_-
Thursday, January 24, 2008
In which the canine laments about one-lane parkways
The sign says twenty
But nobody drives that slow
Get with it, grandma
But nobody drives that slow
Get with it, grandma
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