Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label driving. Show all posts

Monday, November 2, 2009

On NYC taxi algorithms

Optimization:
In a taxi, the route that
Gets me there fastest.

Contrary driver
Instead seeks routes with most tolls.
No tip for you, sir.

Monday, November 17, 2008

On commuting via automobile: A three haiku sequence

Crisp fall wind, brimming
with color. Windows rolled down,
I shift, delighted.

Shit! Downshift and brake:
corners cause soccer moms to
hyperventilate.

Fucking SUV's
won't roll from slight breeze. Find your
accelerator.

I drive up Peachtree-Dunwoody road every day to work now. It's a stunning drive past beautiful trees - red, yellow, and brown - expensive homes, and lots of McCain-Palin signs. There are very few stop lights and overall, it's as pleasant of a drive as you can get in this traffic jammed town. Inevitably, however, some asshole in an SUV [3] decides that 35MPH on a slightly hilly and curvy ATL road is TOO DAMN SCARY AH and drives with their ass at 10 under the whole 4 mile drive.

Protip for slushbox drivers: you can, in fact, take your foot of the throttle and not have to ride your brakes the whole way down a hill. If you're a real pro, look for the D3, 2 or L on your shift column.

[0] Though not so much now.
[1] I should have cataloged their number by date as the election season wore on. It would be an amusing trend, to be sure. [2]
[2] I also swear I've noticed more Obama bumper stickers post-election than pre-. I suppose this is "winner of the Super Bowl" syndrome with regard to jerseys.
[3] Or Old(fart)smobile.

Monday, March 31, 2008

On Gas (not flatulence)

Today's Headline Reads:
"Gas Breaks Record High (Again)."
This speaks for itself -_-

Thursday, January 24, 2008

In which the canine laments about one-lane parkways

The sign says twenty
But nobody drives that slow
Get with it, grandma