On Call Center Employees

I need a new phone
I spell out my full address
You still fuck it up

Absent UPS
Evidence of Epic Fail
Eat Endless Entrails

Retard in telecommunications = No phone replacement for Rob

On morning tea woes

Craving tea today -
Want nice soothing peppermint,
Instead of coffee.

Tazo, rescue me!
No caffeine indicator?
Plz die in a fire.

Seriously – what tea thinks it’s funny not to make it incredibly obvious which flavors are caffeinated and which aren’t? What a pain. At least in the time it took me to compose this, it’s probably done steeping…